Hi Caddyshackers,

Feb 2024 here we go!

What makes you blush?

It’s the middle of a conversation and suddenly if you feel heat in your cheeks, you are blushing! Toes may be curling and skin also tingling, but the glowing cheeks are a giveaway. The dictionary defines blushing as: a reddening of the face especially from shame, modesty, or confusion.

So, what makes you blush? Go on, tell us!

It was a lunchtime conversation with an external partner from a Non-Government Organization (NGO) last year that really got us thinking about this. Over lunch, the conversation led to books, and never missing a moment to self-promote, we casually dropped in our “What We’re Reading” library page. Whilst scanning the fabulous books in our collection, our NGO partner said “Oh em gee, those titles make me blush!”

Look, we get it. Talking about sexual health, relationships, vulvas, penises, anal sex and condoms could make you blush and we talk about it every day, so we’re used to it.

Still blushing? But why?

Let’s talk about it, what words do you use?

There are a few things we would like to unpack here.

We need to normalise the language used in the sexual and reproductive health space. Sure, we can casually say penis, vulva or anal sex without even so much as batting an eyelid, but it hasn’t always been this casual and easy to say. It’s like riding a bike (bit of a pun), it takes practice!

Words associated with genitalia and sex have often been received with giggles. But when we use this anatomically correct and socially acceptable language in everyday conversations, we help to normalise it and this is incredibly important. Why should anyone feel shame, embarrassment or stigma when discussing a body part, or a sexual act they find enjoyable?

We know it might take some time to get used to this language and to get “good” at using it, but you know who is great at using it? Educators and clinicians!

Sure, years of practice have made them comfortable, but you know what else has? A compassionate and caring nature, a desire to keep people safe regardless of their sexual practices and a strong desire to practice harm minimisation and have people engaging with services, as opposed to people avoiding services for fear of judgement, prejudice, stigma shame and embarrassment.

Echidnas have four penises (isn’t that an older blog?)

Anyone who has been a part of Caddyshack Project’s training or webinars in the past will attest to this, but sometimes you need to be willing to step outside your comfort zone to make it more comfortable for others. Some people may say it’s the difference between wearing a personal hat and a professional hat, but once you’ve been around it long enough, the two merge and before you know it you are talking about chlamydia screening and echidnas having 4 penises at the family BBQ (true story!).

Recruiting The Fam

In fact, at Caddyshack we have been so invested in our work and terminology for so long, that even our family members scout the media for us and bring related articles, segments or trivia to our attention! How’s that for normalising and sharing the love (and passion). We have a bit of a running joke that our family is providing us with more sex education information and knowledge now than they ever did when we truly needed it! It’s another win for normalising sexual and reproductive health conversations.

On Ya Tim

Another blush moment last year was Tim Davies, weather reporter for the Today show, visiting a Koala sanctuary. As some of us know, Koala’s have also faced health concerns due to the bacterial infection chlamydia.

Being a morning show, with the keeper giving great insight as to why chlamydia is a problem in the Koala population, Tim turned with a blush and said “it’s too early in the morning to talk about chlamydia”.

We disagree Tim, we are dropping chlamydia like it’s a sugar in our morning coffee. Chlamydia, the sweetener and kick-starter to all Sexually Transmissible Infections (STIS) conversations – who knew chlamydia and coffee could have so much in common!

Tim might make some of us blush, so we forgive him.

So, what makes you blush? We asked our team members what makes them blush, because, whilst for us, it is not using the terms penis, vulva or anal sex, we are only human and our cheeks get a flush on too!

When someone catches me by surprise with a genuine compliment.
When someone I consider attractive makes a joke or cheeky comment.
When I accidently ruin a surprise (whoops).
When I forget someone’s name or call them the wrong name.

Hang on, here we go, we have a good one for you. There was some serious blushing going on in this story IRL.

Let us set the scene. We were all working from home on a Zoom meeting to review the Youth Empowerment Tool (YET) content.

The police knocked on one of our team members front door about a car concern and could hear the rest of the team on Zoom in the background.

What were we talking about? You guessed it, SEX!

Jen was reading out a list about catching STIs from various activities, while Maddy was typing them into the YET page. It sounded like this:

Jen: Phone sex
Maddy: Yep
Jen: Sexting
Maddy: Yep
Jen: Kissing
Maddy: Yep
Jen: Mutual masturbation
Maddy: Yep
Jen: Sharing sex toys
Maddy: Yep
Jen: Fingering
Maddy: Yep
Jen: Hand job
Maddy: Yep
Jen: Dry humping
Maddy: Yep
Jen: Oral sex
Maddy: Yep
Jen: Vaginal and anal intercourse
Maddy: Yep

You cant make this stuff up (YCMSTU). As you can imagine, the police were blushing!

So, blush away! We all do it, it’s natural, but practice normalising language that would otherwise make you blush and get comfortable with the uncomfortable.

Speaking of normalising, we have a giveaway to NSW residents in this blog. We have a a limited stash of the fantastic book Talk soon. Talk Often- A guide for parents & carers talking to their kids about sex. First published in 2011 and updated in 2019, this resource includes:

age and stage guidance for parents of children 0 to 18 years
how to answer tricky questions on topics such as how babies are made, puberty, sexting, contraception and sex
conversations starters
key messages on preparing your teen for healthy sexually active lives, consent, contraception and sexually transmissible infections

Want to have a look at the book online before you order a hard copy version from us? Check it out here on the book’s interactive website.

What we are loving right now

This month it’s ‘WHO we are loving right now’ - Health Practitioners, from your GP, to sexual health specialists, like the team at the Illawarra Shoalhaven Sexual Health Service, who are experienced at conducting a sensitive and confidential sexual health checks and treatment. We totally understand it can feel awkward or embarrassing, but this is something that these practitioners cover every day.

Left to Right: Naomi Hoffman CNC, Jodielee Little Nurse Manager, Chris Bailey-Mills, CNS, Aggie Fryday RN

We also understand that a sexual health check can be especially challenging for survivors of childhood sexual abuse. So if this applies to you, you can ask to book into a specialised sexual health service where you will receive expert and sensitive care.

Health practitioners are trained to help make you feel at ease regardless of your background, age, gender or sexual identity. Nothing is off-limits and nothing you share will surprise or shock them. You will never be judged and you are in control of the direction of the consultation.

Plus all medical professionals are bound by privacy and confidentiality laws ensuring that everything that occurs during the consultation will be kept confidential and not shared with anyone without your consent. The only exception to this is if they have serious concerns about your safety or someone else’s.

For sexual health information and advice, or to find your nearest publicly funded sexual health service, call the NSW Sexual Health Infolink on 1800 451 624.

Use this map to find your nearest NSW Health sexual health clinic.

Peace, Love & Protection

x

What Makes You Blush?