Before We Walk Through The Doors: Finding Safe & Affirming Healthcare
Earlier this year Maddy Stratten met with Mai Nguyen On The Couch to chat about the importance of compassion in transness, culture and relationships. Mai shared her personal experience as a Vietnamese trans woman working in the trans healthcare space. It was such an honour to start our 2026 On The Couch season with Mai’s message of empathy with her honesty, heart and passion strongly felt in the episode. Go back and have a listen wherever you get your podcasts.
Compassion in Transness, Culture and Relationships with Mai Nguyen
Sit down with Mai Nugyen (she/her), as she opens up with Maddy to share her personal experience and the importance of understanding compassion and empathy when approaching conversations about transness and cultural identity.
As a Vietnamese trans woman working in the trans healthcare space, Mai draws on her deep understanding of the communities she serves and the belief that inclusive healthcare relies on building bridges between people.
Mai’s honesty, heart and passion bleeds through personal stories of navigating her transness and cultural identities in her relationship with self, community, family and romantic partner.
This episode was recorded in February 2026
In classic Maddy and Mai style, the conversation kept going after recording stopped.
As we have been continuing conversations throughout the year, we saw a need to explore the trans experience of accessing health care in a blog post.
So, here we are.
Whether you’re a trans person, ally, community or healthcare worker. This blog post will walk you through a transwoman’s experience before, during and after seeking healthcare with messages of kindness and respect in safe and affirmative healthcare
Over to you now, Mai.
My experience of navigating safe and affirming healthcare
A few years ago, I finally got around to booking my first consultation with a surgeon for a septoplasty - a surgical procedure to straighten my crooked septum, which had prevented me from breathing properly for years.
I remember spending so much time getting ready that morning, feeling incredibly anxious about how I was going to be perceived and treated as a trans woman attending a new health service. At the time, it had only been two weeks since my first dose of estrogen. My face and body were only just beginning their glacial feminising transformation. My affirmed name and gender marker were not yet legally updated on my ID, birth certificate or Medicare card.
I spent ages standing in front of the mirror, picking apart my appearance. “Do I look woman enough?” My heart raced with nervous anticipation of potentially encountering a negative experience at the health centre.
What if the doctor or receptionist calls me "he" or "sir"?
What if they look at the name and sex marker on my Medicare card and respond with confusion?
What if they look me up and down, trying to make sense of who they are seeing, unsure of my gender?
My mind flashed back to previous experiences at health services that hadn't been particularly helpful when I'd asked whether I could update my name and gender marker in their medical record system.
My boyfriend came into our bedroom, ready to drive us to the appointment, only to find me teary and overwhelmed with anxiety.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
I unloaded all the thoughts that had been rattling around in my head.
He wrapped his arms around me and said, "I'll be there with you. We're going to walk into that doctor's office together. You're going to hold your head high, go straight to reception, and say: 'Hi, my name is Mai. My gender marker is F, and my pronouns are she/her. My Medicare card and ID have different details on them.'"
We arrived at the surgeon's office and I did exactly that.
The receptionist smiled and replied, "Not a worry, sweetheart. I'll let the doctor know. Take a seat and he'll be with you shortly."
So simple.
The surgeon called me in. He let me know reception had passed on my details and continued to use my correct name and pronouns throughout the appointment.
He looked at my X-ray.
"My gosh," he exclaimed. "Your septum is as crooked as a banana!"
In the end, the appointment I had spent so much worrying about turned out to be entirely unremarkable. And that was precisely what made it so affirming. I wasn't treated as a curiosity, a problem, or a spectacle. I was simply treated as a patient.
For trans people: What I have learnt along the way
Looking back, I've realised that affirming healthcare isn't necessarily about getting everything perfect. It's about whether a service makes me feel safe, respected, and able to focus on my health rather than defending my identity.
As a trans person, some of the green flags I look for include:
Staff using my name and pronouns, even when they don't match my Medicare card or other identification.
Health workers who approach unfamiliar situations with curiosity and respect rather than assumptions.
Services that explain processes clearly and prepare me for any barriers I might encounter.
Staff who apologise and correct themselves if they get something wrong, rather than becoming defensive.
Not having to repeatedly explain my gender to every person I meet during the appointment.
As difficult as it can be at times, I've come to realise that part of my journey has been learning how to advocate for myself and accepting that people will sometimes get things wrong. While it's nice when someone uses my name and pronouns right from the outset, what matters most to me is how people respond when mistakes are made. Are they respectful, willing to listen, and open to correcting themselves? Or are they dismissive and unwilling to change?
I've also learnt that finding affirming healthcare often happens through community. Some of the best clinicians I've seen were recommended by other trans people. Don't be afraid to ask friends, community groups or local organisations where they access healthcare and what their experiences have been. We often learn how to navigate systems safely from each other.
And if advocating for yourself feels difficult, that's okay too. Self-advocacy is a skill many of us develop over time. Bringing a trusted support person like a friend, partner, or family member to appointments can make a huge difference. There were times when other people advocated for me before I felt confident enough to do it myself.
Some great resources and organisations for trans people are:
For health professionals: What affirming healthcare has felt like as a patient
For health professionals, the most affirming experiences I've had haven't come from grand gestures. They've come from small moments that reduced the amount of work I had to do as a patient.
Some of the things that stand out to me are:
Health workers who asked what name and pronouns I would like to be called.
Health workers who briefed colleagues before an appointment, so I didn't have to repeatedly explain myself.
Professionals who acknowledged when a system wasn't designed with trans people in mind and worked with me to navigate it.
Clinicians who took the initiative to update my details in comments or notes if there aren't any appropriate fields in the record system.
People who listened when I shared concerns, even if they didn't have all the answers.
What mattered most was the feeling that we worked together as patient and health worker, even if it wasn't always perfect.
As trans people, many of us arrive at appointments carrying previous experiences of stigma, rejection or anxiety. We may have spent many years building up the courage to seek the care we need.
A respectful interaction can help rebuild trust in healthcare systems. A dismissive interaction can reinforce fears that already existed.
One of the most powerful things a health worker can do is help reduce the burden that patients carry. Sometimes that means advocating within the system with us or on our behalf. Sometimes it means making a note in a file, updating a preferred name, or simply taking an extra moment to ensure someone feels comfortable.
Those actions may seem small, but we as patients remember them.
Here are some great resources I think would be useful for health workers:
Trans people deserve kindness and respect in healthcare
Throughout my journey, I've learnt that affirming healthcare extends far beyond the clinic room. It includes community, family, culture, and the people who help us feel seen along the way and confident to be our authentic selves as trans people. When trans people feel supported and affirmed in their everyday life, it becomes much easier for us to seek healthcare support when we need it.
Trans people deserve to be treated with kindness and respect in healthcare settings, where we feel safe, affirmed and able to focus on our health and wellbeing. As health workers, you may never fully know what someone has gone through before they walk through your doors, but you have the opportunity to make the next step of their journey just that little bit easier.
Peace, Love & Protection
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